Jan. 16, 6:10pm

   So I finally finished the "Medical Practice Survey thing they mailed me. Before I send it back, I want to know if you approve of your, "Care Provider Assessment;"

"I said it before and i'll say it again, Dr. Leaver is without a doubt the best medical professional I, my family, and clearly many others have ever interacted with. She shows care & concern for her patients. She explains everything clearly, and is honest. MSH is made better because of people like Dr. Leaver." 

    So the new dose seemed to be going good... Then stupid me had to go take a 5hour energy to get through day, which made my hand tremor a lil. 

I took it because I've just fleet super sluggish these past few weeks and I wanted to try anything to reboot my system. I don't think it's PD related, I dunno what it is, but I'm just tired all the time. Friday and Saturday I slept all day long and into the night. I don't feel super exhausted but I just don't have any motivation it seems. My diet has also been pretty crusty, but I'm thirsty all the time.

The leg is pretty good. I see Sam on Weds afternoon, hopefully she'll let me run on the treadmill for at least a few minutes.

Tomorrow, Jan 17, would have been my mom's 71st birthday and usually me and my dad do something, but he's in New Orleans with his partner (I call her the lady friend because I can't stomach the"G"word especially when I am still single and lonely.).

I tried calling and texting a few friends, the very few local ones anyway, that I thought might be free.... To no avail. I reeeeeeally don't want to be alone Tomorrow but it honestly looks like literally no one wants to or can spend time with me. Same as always. I just want to be around people and get a hug, especially tomorrow. Instead I'll probably cry alone in a corner begging for the next day to start. This coming Sept.28, it'll be 20 years she's gone, meaning sept.29 I'll have had more days without her than with her. That's a real mindfuck.

Hopefully the days leading up to it will be better. Hopefully.