Feb. 17,2023 - Midnight
Ok, strap in, this is gonna be long and I might get deep into slightly philosophical(?) stuff, so if you have a long comment you don't wanna put in mychart, remember, you can comment below&ill be the only one who sees it &if need be, I can delete it right after and it'll vanish forever, I Promise. Or just text it.
This...person Joan picked out. Do you know anything about them? Do you trust her call on this? I know/hope this person is only temporary, because we both know how highly I regard/fear/respect Dr. O'Neill and all, I just want to make sure i'm doing the right thing here.
Today was...weird. I've felt weird before, but this is a different kinda weird. Not bad...but not good...just...I feel off.
I kinda feel hyper-aware, have felt it increasingly throughout the day, but especially since I got to your office, more so on my walk to the ferry. I don't think it was Parkinson's, or Asperger's...but I don't know. It's so hard to describe, and I can't put a finger on it, but, and this is gonna sound out there, even for me, I just feel...like there has been some sort of...I dunno universal shift? Is that even a thing? I'm not into spirituality or mystical crystals or any of that bull(I apologize if you believe in that, its just...not for me. I'm a dreamer, but I like facts and reason behind my dreams. Asperger's peeking through there?)...
I just felt...I felt the city. Yeah, that sounded odd. I could almost feel it as a living creature(I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and look at this thinking I must have broke straightedge haha)(Thats not why I don't drink coffee, Straightedge people do drink coffee.)
I got into another huge argument with my father the other day. I think that might have something to do with it. He started yelling when he heard how much I hate living on S.I. and wanna be in Manhattan. He seems to think this island isn't that bad...check any news story about us, ask anyone else and they'll tell you we're the worst. Hell, I even wrote about it in my main blog in early March 3 years ago. I don't want to be here anymore, I want to meet people. Once someone hears i'm from staten suck-land, they automatically deduct 5 IQ points and look for my fake tan(jokes on them, i'm Irish, i get tanned, I fry.)
I'm never going to meet people here, not friends anyway, aside from maybe Sam and the PT crew. I've lost more friends on this island than i've gained, not that its a numbers game.
If you need help with anything coming up, like speeches or a lab rat/test dummy/sucker....or have any studies coming up, i'm your guy
How did it go with the telling your student about the waitlist? It kinda caught me off guard, you confiding in me like that. I like it. Makes me feel like i'm helping you for once instead of you always, always helping me.(Thank you again.) What was the end result?
Sorry I couldn't be of more help at the time. I want to help, I just feel like my relating it to any of my situations, the diagnosis, the fire dept. test...it wouldn't help, because its not what shes going through. Hell...someone else is probably getting the same bad news&dealing with it in a different way somewhere else. Thats why I always feel like relating it to something you, or I, or anyone else is going through isn't always the best approach. Sometimes a hug and a shoulder to cry on are all you can do.
Compassion is key. Thats where you strive. You kind of remind me of Superman, which coming from me is among some of the highest praise I could give, because I hold that character in such high reverence. He could easily rule over all of humanity, but he choses to do good...and i'm not just talking about beating up the bad guy, i'm talking about things like this:
And this...its a lil long in the image file so i'll just link you to it;
Comments
Post a Comment