April 8, 1:40PM

 I feel the worst now I've felt since I got the surgery. I blame cvs and my insurance, because up until they messed up my meds, I was fine, or as close to fine as I could be. Now I'm stiff and slow as all hell on my left side, can barely type, or use my hand or arm. My face feels frozen and droopy, my voice is very messy, and emotionally, I'm a wreck. 

I am very depressed, tired and sad. I had someone online try and force me to be happy when I told them I was depressed. "That's not how it works," I told them. 

That made me feel worse, so I went out for a drive in my fathers car, since my mind is such a mess that I cant get my own and tried to clear my headspace. That didn't work as well as id hoped, because all I thought about was how lonely I am and how much everyone is abandoning me and how much I hate my life. As you can see, I've spiraled.

I dunno if its the meds or something else, but something is very off.