October 11, 2023 - 9:47PM

 Hey, i'm sorry. Sorry for the tone of my last message, sorry I asked and got you involved, its not your fight - and for me to ask you to do anything is a rude over-assumption of what you're job description is. I let my frustration get the better of me and I apologize.

The fact that this has been going on for over a month and a half has gotten to me, and the fact I've seemingly wasted that time for nothing, despite my continued loyalty to Mount Sinai(loyalty to you, Joan, Giselle, Shannon, Dr. Panov, Dr. Hoff, etc.)(I let them cut me open for crying out loud!)(I could also bring up the fact this is just delaying the money making photo project...) take precedence. 

I just don't know what to do, I have so much riding on this. My future employment, driving, what very little of a social life I might have...the holidays(which my dad suddenly doesn't want to celebrate.)

I fear for the future. I recently started watching a Youtuber named, "Footless Jo." She had an amputation due to delayed treatment mainly. I hope I don't wind up in the same boat and I don't think I will, but its still sobering to think, after all these years of trouble with this arm(my first injury was in 2003, well before my PD symptoms popped up.)

Speaking of my PD, my left hand is essentially currently kinda useless, mainly cause of rigidity/stickiness. Probably way overused because I started NYCC today(Yes, i'm masking even though I feel mainly normal aside from a hoarse voice - Dr. Hoff will be thrilled.)

I again apologize for my actions toady and in times past. I...put too much on you and I need to stop. I don't want you to put your career in any more jeopardy because of my dumbass. I can't risk losing you too. Been too much loss in my life as it is.