Monday, March 31st, 7:50am

Just woke up from my 3rd night of vivid, visceral dreaming, in which I am pretty sure I acted it out. I didn't remember much of them upon waking, but this one had a pit bull biting down hard on my left wrist and no one coming to help me, despite my screams.

Yesterday the zaps sunshine during work, but would become very programmatic throughout the entire day. 

There was some left toe curling, but not much. The mouth/jaw continue to feel like I have a mouth full of marbles Everytime I talk. I've also become super emotional over every little thing, like ugly crying over a metal song.

About therapy. I got the impression from the one or two places that said it would be, "months," they weren't interested in helping me, otherwise they would have. 

I think i'm ready to just give up and wait for the psych ward to take me, fit me for a straight-jacket and call it a day. 

Maybe Dr. Figgee can offer a spark of hope when i see him weds, but I am not hopeful. I'll write a few letters to the higher-up's at Sinai, but I wouldn't expect much. I don't think I'm in crisis per say...I don't plan on doing anything drastic or anything even remotely like that, but I feel very, very hopeless. 

This obviously is not helping my symptoms.